wild buffalo style

my lover was taking a hot milk-bath and confessed to me her hunger. i nodded subserviently and excused myself...

buffalo wings
foreplay

• 36 chicken wing pieces
• 3 tablespoons vegetable oil (tossing) 
• 2 cups vegetable oil (cooking)
• 1 cup all-purpose flour mixed with 1 tablespoon salt

doin' it!

• wash and dry chicken, then toss in veggie oil.
• dredge wings lightly in flour (dip chicken in flour and shake off excess).
• oven cook wings for 10-15 minutes at 400 turning once (middle rack).
• turn deep fryer to "high" or heat oil in deep frying pan on maximum heat. 
• fry chicken until a crispy, golden brown. (add only as much chicken as can be covered by oil.)
• allow oil to reheat between batches.
• strain oil from chicken.

get saucy:

• 1 1/2 tablespoons white vinegar
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1 clove of garlic grated 
• 1 teaspoon worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon tabasco sauce
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon of brown sugar
• 1 cup louisiana/franks hot sauce (frank's is the brand used in buffalo)
• 1 cup butter

climax

• in a small sauce pan melt butter, sugar and vinegar over low heat.
• add remaining ingredients. keep warm but do not over heat.
• place your fried chicken in a large bowl, pour sauce over the chicken and toss until coated.
• serve with celery and blue cheese.

...placing her wine glass on the edge of the tub after i presented her with my hot, sticky offering...

...my lover gazed upon me with heat in her eyes as the serene milky water succumbed to a shimmering orange slick...

...the wings i had moments earlier plunked into the water bobbing gracefully beneath her chin.

squeeze my lemon teabags

so, i've dismounted my lover after a long night of sweaty love making.  i'm laying on a bearskin rug basking in the glow of a crackling fireplace.  my lover is worn, glistening and a bit parched.

"thirsty, lover?"  she attempts to answer.  "shhh, shhh, don't say a thing.  daddy will be back in minute..."

lemon-ginger tea

ingredients

• 4 cups water 
• 2 lemons, juiced (or lime, if you prefer) 
• 1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger 
• 1/4 cup honey 
• 1/4 cup sugar 
• 2 cinnamon sticks
• 10 leaves of fresh mint 
• thinly sliced lemon or lime, for garnish 

preparation

• boil water in a medium sauce pan. add cinnamon, cover and simmer for 10 minutes.
• add honey, sugar, lemon/lime juice (some zest if you'd like) and the ginger to the water. 
• simmer and whisk occasionally for 10 min. 
• remove from heat, add mint, cover and let steep for 20 minutes
• strain, garnish and serve hot
  
  

...i return to my lover moments later with my steaming love potion.  "here ya' go you sexy little..."

stumbling on a misplaced sex toy, i fling 212 degrees of searing hot tea over my lover's bare skin.  she recoils in fiery anguish as her skin blisters from my lemony-ginger shower.

i think to myself, "hmm, her cries are somehow different now.  i don't think she fully appreciates the effort that went into that tea."

welcome lovers

one true post.

the other day i was developing a "momofuku" inspired recipe. upon completion, i labored over what to name the dish.
(momofuku is a prominent nyc eatery)

"momofuku-florentine" came to mind first. shortly thereafter, "fuku-florentine" for its alliteration. but then i got a bit cheeky: "fuk-u florentine".

"hon' what do you think about an x-rated cookbook?"
(that's me soliciting an opinion from my lover.)

cut to:

THE X-RATED COOKBOOK

recipes made easy for lovers who are 2 busy gettin' bizy to buy a proper cookbook or to ever leave their steamy-windowed love nests.