Thursday, March 11, 2010

reuben one out

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the winter olympics now over, i find myself occupied 
with the prospect of physical competition.

i concluded the following:

if i gave copious amount of hands-on attention to
"quartermaster winchester chesterfield" (located in my pants),...


...might i be initiating a future men's olympic event?

a summer event i presume & surely

i would qualify for semi-finals...


reuben sandwich

foreplay:
  • 2 slices rye bread
  • 1/2 cup thousand island dressing
  • 1/4 thin sliced corned beef
  • 1/2 cup sauerkraut
  • 2 slices swiss cheese
  • 2 tablespoon butter
doin' it:
  • simmer sauerkraut in small saucepan
  • heat a butter coated large fry-pan or griddle to medium heat
  • brown both sides of bread spread dressing on the one side and set aside 
  • form beef into bread-sized mound heat on med for 5 min..
  • top the mound with cheese
  • pile beef, sauerkraut & cheese on one slice of bread
  • top with other slice and remove from heat
climax:
  • cut sandwich in half
  • serve with chips, dips, or a k-y jelly of your choosing (you nasty lil'...) 

...allow me to paint for you a picture of
"olympic sports future".

tv screens across the globe display, from the waist up,
the finalists for the 2012 summer olympics "hand-on-man" event

 (cue music) "chariots of fire"

as the competition stiffens,
the tv camera glides gently across each athletes face.

then, stopping on mine, the camera zooms in.

reaching climax & visibly sensing victory,
i smile big for my close-up and mouth to the camera
"i'm going to disneyland!"