tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15904526746412341382024-02-20T05:16:25.764-05:00the x-rated cookbookrecipes made easy for lovers who are 2 busy gettin' bizay'
<br>
to buy a proper cookbookcèédric gorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11143967034936316398noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1590452674641234138.post-59109126762044155132010-03-11T23:24:00.007-05:002010-03-11T23:44:26.674-05:00reuben one out<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>the winter olympics now over, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i>i find myself occupied </i></span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i>with the prospect of physical competition.<br />
</i></span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i> i concluded the following:<br />
<br />
if i gave copious amount of hands-on attention to<br />
"quartermaster winchester chesterfield" (located in my pants),...</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i><br />
...might i be initiating a future men's olympic event?<br />
<br />
a summer event i presume & surely</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>i would qualify for semi-finals...<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><b>reuben sandwich</b></span><br />
<div><br />
<b>foreplay:</b><br />
<ul><li>2 slices rye bread</li>
<li>1/2 cup thousand island dressing</li>
<li>1/4 thin sliced corned beef</li>
<li>1/2 cup sauerkraut</li>
<li>2 slices swiss cheese</li>
<li>2 tablespoon butter</li>
</ul><b>doin' it:</b><br />
<ul><li>simmer sauerkraut in small saucepan</li>
<li>heat a butter coated large fry-pan or griddle to medium heat</li>
<li>brown both sides of bread spread dressing on the one side and set aside </li>
<li>form beef into bread-sized mound heat on med for 5 min..</li>
<li>top the mound with cheese</li>
<li>pile beef, sauerkraut & cheese on one slice of bread</li>
<li>top with other slice and remove from heat</li>
</ul><b>climax:</b><br />
<ul><li>cut sandwich in half</li>
<li>serve with chips, dips, or a k-y jelly of your choosing (you nasty lil'...) </li>
</ul><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>...allow me to paint for you a picture of <br />
"olympic sports future".<br />
<br />
tv screens across the globe display, from the waist up,<br />
the finalists for the 2012 summer olympics "hand-on-man" event<br />
<br />
(cue music) "chariots of fire"<br />
<br />
as the competition stiffens, <br />
the tv camera glides gently across each athletes face.</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>then, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i>stopping on mine, the camera zooms in.</i></span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i> <br />
reaching climax & visibly sensing victory, <br />
i smile big for my close-up and mouth to the camera<br />
"i'm going to disneyland!"</i></span></div>cèédric gorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11143967034936316398noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1590452674641234138.post-81202608873411137952010-02-19T14:39:00.017-05:002010-02-22T02:18:38.527-05:00lake flaccid soup<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">last night's love session didn't go quite as arranged.</span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"> <br />
when i awoke this morning i found a little blue pill on my lovers pillow along with a note...</span></i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><b><br />
chilled cucumber soup</b></span><br />
<b>foreplay</b>:<br />
<ul><li>2 large peeled cucumbers</li>
<li>3 scallions, chopped</li>
<li>6 thin slices of a poblano chili</li>
<li>4 stalks fresh dill (or parsley) chopped</li>
<li>1 fresh lemon squeezed</li>
<li>¼ cup half & half</li>
<li>6 oz. plain yogurt</li>
<li>1 tablespoon salt </li>
<li>1 tablespoon pepper</li>
</ul><b>doin' it:</b><br />
<ul><li>cut cucumber in half, scrape out seeds and chop. (hold 1 inch of uncut cucumber aside)</li>
<li>combine ingredients in a blender and run at high speed until creamy (30 sec). </li>
<li>freeze for 15 minutes </li>
</ul><b>climax:</b><br />
<ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span">serve & garnish with paper thin slices of cucumber</span></li>
</ul><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">..."dearest lover,</span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"> hoping this letter finds you well.<br />
<br />
i regret to you inform you, to whom you refer as<br />
"quartermaster winchester chesterfield"<br />
and to who i more accurately refer to as your<br />
"quarter-mast manhood"<br />
passed away last night.<br />
<br />
he is survived by your ego, unflossed teeth and that blue boa you curiously insist upon.<br />
<br />
regretfully,<br />
your (whenever </span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">you're</span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"> ready) lover"</span></i>cèédric gorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11143967034936316398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1590452674641234138.post-35966427827960455622010-02-09T08:40:00.006-05:002010-02-10T14:12:34.667-05:00two fisted tokyo jerk<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>my lover found me in the bathroom</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>taking matters into my own hands.<br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>i begged her forgiveness and a washcloth...<br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><b>wasabi beef jerky</b></span><br />
<b>foreplay</b><br />
<ul><li>4 pounds flank steak.</li>
<li>2 oz. wasabi paste</li>
<li>8 oz. soy sauce</li>
<li>toothpicks</li>
</ul><b>doin' it</b><br />
<ul><li>freeze steak for 10 minutes then slice into 1/4 inch strips</li>
<li>mix wasabi paste and soy sauce (marinade)</li>
<li>marinate steak strips for 6 hours</li>
<li>stick a toothpick through one end of each strip</li>
<li>hang each strip between top oven rack rungs</li>
<li>cook at 200 degrees for 6 hours</li>
</ul><b>climax</b><br />
<ul><li>store in fridge and enjoy at your whim</li>
</ul><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>..."a washcloth?" she quizzically replied.<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i><br />
i shouted back lovingly</i></span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i> "damn it, woman, quickly!"<br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>"this <b>wasabi </b>is starting to burn! it burns! it freakin' burns!"<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i><br />
she closed the door.</i></span></i></span>cèédric gorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11143967034936316398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1590452674641234138.post-11429737558453757162010-01-31T14:40:00.011-05:002010-02-09T08:43:26.887-05:00tranny soup: tomato soup... with eggs<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>for her birthday, i decided to surprise my lover with a bedroom "guest".<br />
<br />
"teri" was her name. tall, a bit muscular, she boasted a wealth of street experiences.<br />
<br />
my lover would be arriving from work shortly and i, <br />
wanting nothing to go awry, made the loving decision <br />
to warm the "gift" up a bit...</i></span><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>...for my lover...</i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><br />
</span></span></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">tomato & egg drop soup</span></b><br />
<br />
<b>foreplay</b><br />
<ul><li>4 cups chicken broth (bullion cube)</li>
<li>2 ripe tomatoes, diced</li>
<li>1/2 cup cilantro leaves, chopped </li>
<li>1 tablespoons cornstarch dissolved in 1/4 cup cold water </li>
<li>1/4 teaspoon black pepper</li>
<li>1 tablespoon soy sauce </li>
<li>2 egg whites, lightly beaten </li>
<li>1 sliced green chili</li>
<li>2 poached eggs</li>
</ul><b>doin' it</b><br />
<ul><li>an a deep saucepan, bring the chicken stock to a boil.</li>
<li>add the tomatoes a pinch of cilantro, a few chili slices, and boil for 5 minutes.</li>
<li>strain into a new saucepan and simmer.</li>
<li>add remaining cilantro leaves, pepper, cornstarch mixture and soy sauce. </li>
<li>very slowly pour egg whites into the soup. </li>
<li>gently stir soup until the eggs form thin streams. (picture egg drop soup)</li>
<li>remove from heat. </li>
</ul><b>climax</b><br />
<ul><li>pour soup into bowls, carefully slide one poached egg into the soup. (the egg will sink to the bottom)</li>
<li>garnish with green chilies and serve piping hot.</li>
</ul><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>...teri's 6 inch panty surprise stood tall to meet my face just as my lover entered the room.<br />
<br />
i whispered "happy birthday sweet pea!" while thinking to myself...<br />
<br />
naaaailed it!</i></span><br />
<br />
</div>cèédric gorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11143967034936316398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1590452674641234138.post-39705429877041564972010-01-29T17:20:00.015-05:002010-01-29T19:13:19.866-05:00momo fuk-u gently eggs florentine<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>my lover called to alert me as to when I should expect her arrival from the airport...<br />
...i decided to prepare for her a seductive meal... <br />
"momo fuk-u eggs - florentine".<br />
<br />
indeed!... </i></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.momofuku.com/"><b>momofuku</b></a><b> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">poached eggs - florentine</span></b><br />
<br />
<b>foreplay</b></div><ul><li>4 x-large eggs</li>
<li>2 bunches of spinach </li>
<li>2 tablespoons butter </li>
<li>2 cloves thin sliced garlic</li>
<li>5 strips bacon</li>
</ul><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>doin' it</b></div><ul><li>place a veggie-steamer in a deep pot 3/4 full of water and heat low to 140 degrees. </li>
<li>insert a meat thermometer & add cool water if necessary to maintain temperature. </li>
<li>gently place the eggs into the pot & cook for 40 to 45 minutes. (smaller eggs cook 30-35 min)</li>
<li>set a timer but check temperature regularly.</li>
<li>gently crack eggs near the top, peel away a 1 inch hole and "pour" each egg into it's own saucer.</li>
</ul></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><ul><li>lightly sauté 2 bunches of spinach with butter & garlic</li>
<li>cook bacon to taste. (toaster oven for small batches is my preference)</li>
</ul><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>climax</b></div><ul><li>scoop drained spinach onto two plates.</li>
<li>with clean hands, form the spinach into a mound, make two nest like indentations in the mounds.</li>
<li>pour one egg into each mound.</li>
<li>garnish with 2 inch cuts of bacon </li>
</ul><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>...i squint seductively as i hear the jingle of keys in the door...<br />
<br />
...and wearing nothing but a beguiling smile and my trademark powder blue boa...</i></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i><br />
...i greet <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">her</span></b> with a primal coo.</i></span></i></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>"coo!"<br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>she greets <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">me</span></b> with 8 members of her extended family.<br />
<br />
</i></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>i knew my lover was freaky, but... damn! </i></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i><br />
</i></span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><i>"bring 'em on baby, bring 'em on!"</i></span></div></div></div>cèédric gorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11143967034936316398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1590452674641234138.post-43571235225732184372010-01-27T11:59:00.007-05:002010-02-09T08:45:04.187-05:00my lover "s-melt"<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">the look on her face said it all...<br />
<br />
...her mouth gagged, ankles and wrists bound to the love wall.<br />
<br />
it's been a full hour since i yanked opened both the curtains & large bay windows of our love dungeon.<br />
<br />
my lover's bare back caressed by the freezing winds now sweeping into our first floor apartment.<br />
<br />
her muted anguish, frantic body contortions, burning, billowing eyes beg for more but i simply must break for tea...</span> </i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span style="color: #f1c232;">salmon melt</span></b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>foreplay</b>:</div><ul><li>2 cans boneless, skinless salmon, drained (5-6 oz. cans)</li>
<li>1 celery stalk minced</li>
<li>2 scallions chopped</li>
<li>1 tablespoon dijon mustard</li>
<li>3 tablespoons mayonnaise</li>
<li>1 teaspoon old bay seasoning</li>
<li>1/2 lemon - juiced</li>
<li>1 teaspoon hot sauce (any)</li>
<li>1 tomato thin sliced</li>
</ul><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">set aside:</div><ul><li>4 slices of bread (whatever u like) </li>
<li>8 slices swiss cheese (ask your deli-guy for 1/4 pound)</li>
<li>1 tablespoon butter </li>
</ul><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>doin it</b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><ul><li>combine remaining ingredients in medium bowl and mix aggressively with a fork.</li>
<li>add butter to a small fry pan and lightly toast both sides of your bread in it.</li>
<li>spread salmon salad evenly over each piece of toast, top with cheese and broil/toaster oven for 5 minutes.</li>
</ul></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>climax</b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><ul><li>top with tomato slices and serve.</li>
</ul></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">...my lover's dampened cries fade to the background as i sip and ponder the faces of the now gathering crowd.<br />
<br />
poor men, tsk tsk. those yellow hard hats won't protect you from her allure...</span> </i><br />
<i><span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><br />
</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/TheX-ratedCookbook" rel="alternate" title="Subscribe!" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe!</a></span></i></div>cèédric gorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11143967034936316398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1590452674641234138.post-36475763866089420902010-01-25T14:41:00.010-05:002010-02-20T13:03:18.534-05:00i've got crabs<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">i inhale my lover's exhale...,<br />
<br />
her body still quivering from a post climactic tremor.<br />
our eyes locked.<br />
</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"> </span><span style="font-style: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">i whisper<br />
</span></i></span></span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"></span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">"lover, i've got crabs."</span></span></i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br />
steamed bay crabs</span></b></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>foreplay</b></div><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">12 live blue crabs (freeze for 5 minutes to settle them down)</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">1/4 cup of water </li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">1 can or bottle of cheap domestic beer </li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">1/4 cup of old bay seasoning mixed with 1/4 cup kosher salt (set aside 3 tablespoons) </li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">2 tbsp of white vinegar </li>
</ul><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>doin' it </b></div><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">pour beer, water & vinegar into a large deep pot & boil. (place a steaming tray or broken chopsticks at bottom.)</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">add crabs to pot.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">sprinkle in seasonings.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">cook for 15 minutes until bright orange in color.</li>
</ul><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>climax</b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">serve hot or cold with set-aside seasoning to dip.</div></div>cèédric gorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11143967034936316398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1590452674641234138.post-76182418342928067702010-01-23T18:23:00.032-05:002010-02-09T08:47:36.592-05:00wild buffalo style<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">my lover was taking a hot milk-bath and confessed to me her hunger. i nodded subserviently and excused myself..</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">.</span><br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">buffalo wings</span></span></b><br />
<b>foreplay</b><br />
<ul><li>36 chicken wing pieces</li>
<li>3 tablespoons vegetable oil (tossing) </li>
<li>2 cups vegetable oil (cooking)</li>
<li>1 cup all-purpose flour mixed with 1 tablespoon salt</li>
</ul><b>doin' it!</b><br />
<ul><li>wash and dry chicken, then toss in veggie oil.</li>
<li>dredge wings lightly in flour (dip chicken in flour and shake off excess).</li>
<li>oven cook wings for 10-15 minutes at 400 turning once (middle rack).</li>
<li>turn deep fryer to "high" or heat oil in deep frying pan on maximum heat. </li>
<li>fry chicken until a crispy, golden brown. (add only as much chicken as can be covered by oil.)</li>
<li>allow oil to reheat between batches.</li>
<li>strain oil from chicken.</li>
</ul><b>get saucy:</b><br />
<ul><li>1 1/2 tablespoons white vinegar</li>
<li>1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper</li>
<li>1 clove of garlic grated </li>
<li>1 teaspoon worcestershire sauce</li>
<li>1 teaspoon tabasco sauce</li>
<li>1 teaspoon salt</li>
<li>1 teaspoon of brown sugar</li>
<li>1 cup louisiana/franks hot sauce (frank's is the brand used in buffalo)</li>
<li>1 cup butter</li>
</ul><span style="font-weight: bold;">climax</span><br />
<ul><li>in a small sauce pan melt butter, sugar and vinegar over low heat.</li>
<li>add remaining ingredients. keep warm but do not over heat.</li>
<li>place your fried chicken in a large bowl, pour sauce over the chicken and toss until coated.</li>
<li>serve with celery and blue cheese.</li>
</ul><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">.</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">..placing her wine glass on the edge of the tub after i presented her with my hot, sticky offering...<br />
</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"> </span></i><br />
<span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">...my lover gazed upon me with heat in her eyes as the serene milky water succumbed to a shimmering orange slick...</span></span><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"> </span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"> </span></i><br />
<span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">...the wings i had moments earlier plunked into the water bobbing gracefully beneath her chin.</span></span></div>cèédric gorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11143967034936316398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1590452674641234138.post-10281291939883187192010-01-23T13:39:00.032-05:002010-02-09T08:46:00.944-05:00squeeze my lemon teabags<span style="font-family: Arial, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">so, i've dismounted my lover after a long night of sweaty love making. i'm laying on a bearskin rug basking in the glow of a crackling fireplace. my lover is worn, glistening and a bit parched.</span></i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><br />
</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"> </span></i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">"thirsty, lover?" she attempts to answer. "shhh, shhh, don't say a thing. daddy will be back in minute..."</span></i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">lemon-ginger tea</span></b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">ingredients<br />
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">4 cups water </li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">2 lemons, juiced (or lime, if you prefer) </li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger </li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">1/4 cup honey </li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">1/4 cup sugar </li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">2 cinnamon sticks</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">10 leaves of fresh mint </li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">thinly sliced lemon or lime, for garnish </li>
</ul><br />
preparation<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">boil water in a medium sauce pan. add cinnamon, cover and simmer for 10 minutes.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">add honey, sugar, lemon/lime juice (some zest if you'd like) and the ginger to the water. </li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">simmer and whisk occasionally for 10 min. </li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">remove from heat, add mint, cover and let steep for 20 minutes</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">strain, garnish and serve hot<br />
<br />
</li>
</ul><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">..i return to my lover moments later with my steaming love potion. "here ya' go you sexy little..."</span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><br />
</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"> </span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">stumbling on a misplaced sex toy, i fling 212 degrees of searing hot tea over my lover's bare skin. she recoils in fiery anguish as her skin blisters from my lemony-ginger shower.</span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"><br />
</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;"> </span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">i think to myself, "hmm, her cries are somehow different now. i don't think she fully appreciates the effort that went into that tea."</span></i></div></div></div>cèédric gorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11143967034936316398noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1590452674641234138.post-26996227877333402012010-01-23T12:47:00.017-05:002010-01-23T19:00:54.614-05:00welcome lovers<b>one true post.</b><br />
<br />
the other day i was developing a "momofuku" inspired recipe. upon completion, i labored over what to name the dish.<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(momofuku is a prominent nyc eatery)</span><br />
<br />
"momofuku-florentine" came to mind first. shortly thereafter, "fuku-florentine" for its alliteration. but then i got a bit cheeky: "fuk-u florentine".<br />
<br />
"hon' what do you think about an x-rated cookbook?"<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(that's me soliciting an opinion from my lover.)</span><br />
<div>cut to:<br />
<br />
<b>THE X-RATED COOKBOOK</b><br />
<br />
recipes made easy for lovers who are 2 busy gettin' bizy to buy a proper cookbook or to ever leave their steamy-windowed love nests.<br />
</div>cèédric gorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11143967034936316398noreply@blogger.com0